“Outfit ready, Backpack packed, and a new chapter waiting to begin.”
This week marks a milestone that my heart has been holding onto for a long time – my son’s first day of preschool. Reality hit all at once when we packed his backpack. His first day of school outfit was set out, and the most darling little sneakers were placed right next to it. It was such a simple scene, but it stopped me in my tracks. Something about it felt exciting, but also strangely so. How are we already here? When did my baby grow up enough for preschool? Not too long ago, we were packing “go bags” for the hospital, and now here we are packing for school.
I felt like I was missing something—like I had forgotten some hidden detail, even though I had double-checked everything. I unpacked and repacked his backpack at least twice. I even wrote down what my son wanted for lunch on an index card. I wanted to be certain I had everything just right. I was on top of things —probably over the top—but it was my way of feeling some sense of control in a moment that felt emotionally impossible to prepare for. But this is the chapter I prayed for, and yet never felt quite ready for. Ready or not, my son is starting preschool.
The Heart Behind The Packing
Excited for this milestone, proud to watch him grow, and at peace knowing he is exactly where he’s supposed to be. I believe he will thrive. Yet if I’m honest, there’s also a frantic side to my heart- frantically buying snacks, packing supplies, and fighting off a flood of what-ifs:
What if my son elopes from the classroom?
What if I get a call to come pick him up?
What if he becomes “that” kid- the one who makes the teacher consider retirement?
However, through a lot of encouragement, prayer, and plenty of reassurance, I’ve been able to be strong and realistic. This transition isn’t just physical- it’s emotional and spiritual too. It’s trusting God with the unknowns, choosing to rest in His plan when my mind wants to spiral. It’s praying protection over my son, and speaking life-giving affirmations over his school days ahead. Because as much as I’m preparing his backpack, I’m also preparing my heart to let go, just enough for him to grow.
The Tug-of- War of Motherhood
This milestone feels like the tug of war of motherhood- joy and panic living side by side. In motherhood, and especially in special needs parenting, I’ve always been my child’s voice, advocate, and caretaker. Now, I have to take a step back and allow someone else to share that role. While I’m grateful and at peace knowing he’s in good hands, it’s unfamiliar territory. It’s a new rhythm I’ll have to grow into.”
Why I’m Writing “Preparing My Heart and His Backpack”
I’m writing this series because it’s back-to-school season, and I want to share our family’s journey as we navigate sending our son to preschool for the first time. This blog series is a way to walk alongside other moms and families who are navigating this milestone- especially those who might feel the same mix of excitement, fear, and hope that I do.
I want this series to be a source of encouragement and honesty, a place where you can find both practical insights and heartfelt moments. Whether you’re just starting to think about preschool or already walking through the transition, I hope our story helps remind you that you’re not alone.
From the very beginning, I want to share my intentions for this series: I am aware that the topic of public schools can be a controversial one, and this series isn’t intended to persuade anyone. Instead, it’s an honest, faith-centered, and relatable look at our family’s journey as we navigate this new chapter.
Each post will walk you through a different part of our preschool journey — from preparing emotionally and spiritually, to navigating the enrollment process, to the first day and beyond. By sharing our honest experiences, heartfelt prayers, and personal reflections, I hope to help other moms and families feel seen, encouraged, and supported in their journeys.
What’s ahead in this season
Here’s what you can expect in this series:
Post 1- Preparing My Heart and His Backpack (this one!)
Post 2- Preparing My Heart For The Enrollment Step
Post 3- Packing My Heart and The Supplies
Post 4- The Heart at the First Drop Off
I’ll also be including prayers, reflections, and affirmations I speak over my son as he begins this new chapter.
From My Heart To Yours
To the mom reading with your tears- I see the love and the words behind those tears. I see the pride in watching your child step out and discover their little world and begin to find their place. I feel the love you hold in your heart. I see your strength in knowing this is what’s best for your child, and trusting that they will not only grow, but thrive.
I also hear you asking, “What now?” as you wait and stare at the clock, counting the minutes until pick-up, the pick-up you can’t help but arrive early for.
You’re not alone. You’re a good mom. Your love, your presence, and your prayers are more than enough.
Affirmation for today: “My child is safe, loved, and thriving, and I am exactly the mom he needs.”
Closing Reflection
As I look at the little clothes neatly laid out, the backpack resting by the door, and my heart at peace, I’m reminded of the words in Zechariah and the verse I’m clinging to in this season: “Do not despise small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin.”
This milestone- as small as it may seem to some- is the start of something big for our family. It’s more than a school year. It’s a season of growth, trust, and stepping into the unknown with God, leading the way.
So I choose to embrace the beauty of these small beginnings, to savor the moment, and to hold my son’s hand in my heart as he steps into his world.
Thank you for letting me share a quiet corner of our story. I invite you to walk alongside me in this series. Preparing my heart and his backpack, I share reflections, prayers, and encouragement for every mom navigating milestones in her journey.