When Holiday Overstimulation Hits
When Holiday Overstimulation hits, even the most wonderful time of the year can feel overwhelming. The holiday season is officially underway- the Christmas tree is up, the lights are glowing, schedules are getting crazier, and the parades, gatherings, and traditions are rolling in. The holiday season always starts off feeling magical for me. I love this time of year and get excited for the dinners, the gatherings, and the memories we’re going to make. But as beautiful as it all is, I know the holidays can be incredibly overstimulating. Crowded rooms, routine changes, and action-packed family dinners can turn meaningful moments into overwhelm before you know it. You usually walk into these events feeling hopeful and optimistic- willing to try- and my son, too, in his own brave way. But as we get deeper into the experience, things start to shift. His behavior follows, and honestly… I start feeling it too.
If you’re a mom raising a child on the spectrum, you’ve probably been through similar moments- wanting to enjoy the holiday season, wanting to soak in the magic of the season, but also navigating sensory overload and caring for an overstimulated child. I’m not sharing this post to rant. I’m sharing my heart, offering empathy, and reminding you that you’re not alone. This post is to bring encouragement and the kind of support I’ve found along this journey. Because even in the overwhelming moments, Jesus is still the reason for the season, and He meets us right in the middle of it all.
If you’re needing a reminder of peace in the middle of all the chaos, you might also like my post, Grace and Peace In a Chaotic Season https://spectrumspecter.org/wp-admin/post.php?post=238&action=edit
Overstimulation Roller Coaster
Overstimulation is unique to each child and can show up in many ways. Over time, I’ve learned to recognize the early signs in my son, and I want to share what I’ve noticed, hoping it helps you start recognizing them on your own journey.
For my son, one of the super clear cues is when he’s had enough- when it’s time to leave early. The longer we stay, the closer he gets to his limit. But before we reach that point, at first there are just a few early signs. I like to call it the roller coaster of overstimulation.
At first, you arrive at an event, and everything feels okay. The excitement is high, smiles are present, and everyone seems settled. Then, slowly, the energy starts to shift. Irritability begins to show- not as “bad behavior”, but as a tension that builds when he’s pushing through too much noise, too many people, or too many transitions. His little body and brain are working overtime to process everything, and his fuse shortens. It’s not that he’s upset with you or anyone else- he’s overwhelmed, and that’s his way of letting you know he needs support.
On Thanksgiving, I saw this roller coaster in full motion. Dinner had just been served when my son kept climbing toward a box of cornbread mix on the counter. I was able to redirect him to a piece of turkey, and for a moment, it felt like we were okay. But by the time dessert arrived, the overwhelm had built up. He grabbed an entire pumpkin cheesecake, pulled a chair up to the table, and claimed it as his safe spot. I could feel my own chest tightening as I watched him- and in that moment, I knew it was time to step away and leave.
If you notice these moments with your own child, remember, recognizing them is a success. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you are tuned in, aware, and ready to support your child with compassion and patience. Understanding this roller coaster allows you to intervene earlier, guide your child gently, and find peace for both of you before the overwhelm escalates.
Preparing In Advance (without trying to control every moment)
Can I be honest with you? If I planned out every detail- the schedule, the activities, the timing, the transitions- I could prevent overstimulation altogether. But over time, I have learned that trying to control every moment only leaves both my son and me more stressed. Now, instead of planning perfectly, I focus on preparing in a way that makes sense and feels gentle. And it’s made all the difference.
For my son, I make him aware ahead of time in simple, calm ways:
- Where we’re going
- Who might be there
- What the environment might feel like
- The parts of the day that may change his routine
Just talking through things in advance helps him walk into the moment with less anxiety- and honestly, it helps me too.
Sometimes preparation looks like choosing what brings peace, not what looks “ideal”. Sometimes that means smaller gatherings, shorter stays, or slipping into another room for a breather. And that’s okay. There is so much grace in choosing what supports your child and your own heart.
But the most significant shift for me has been lowering my expectations of “holiday perfection”. I’ve learned it’s okay to simplify. It’s OK to skip events that don’t feel peaceful. It’s OK to plan less and be present more.
Because releasing control doesn’t mean you’re doing less- it means your mothering with wisdom, compassion, and flexibility. And those gifts matter so much more than fitting into anyone else’s idea of a “perfect” holiday.
Faith and Reflection: Finding Grace in the Overwhelm
If there’s one thing navigating this season with my child on the spectrum has taught me- especially during the holiday season- it’s that God meets us right in the middle of the overwhelm, not after the meltdown, not just when everything feels calm again, right in the middle of it.
There have been moments when I’ve stood in a crowded room, holding my overstimulated son, feeling my own chest tighten, and all I could whisper was, “Lord, help me, and He does—every time. Not always in significant, dramatic ways- sometimes it’s just enough peace to take one more breath, or enough patience to kneel and reassure my child with calm, simple words.
I’ve started to look at overstimulation differently. Instead of seeing it as a setback, I’m learning to see it as an opportunity- to slow down, to be present, and to let God steady my heart. These moments pull me away from the noise and back to what matters most: caring for my son with tenderness and allowing Jesus to care for me, too.
One verse that anchors me during seasons like this is:
“My Grace is Sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness.” -2 Corinthians 12:9
If you ever feel like you’re failing or like you should have handled things better, I want you to hear this clearly: You are not failing! You are mothering through circumstances most people will never fully understand. God sees the effort you put into it. He sees the heart behind every decision you make. And He gives grace for every moment- the calm ones and the chaotic ones.
You and your child are not walking alone this season. Jesus is with you, giving strength, comfort, and peace that goes beyond understanding. And I’m right here cheering you on, too!
A Final Word Of Encouragement
Before you click away from this post, I want you to hear this with your whole heart:
YOU ARE NOT FAILING!
Navigating the holidays with an overstimulated child doesn’t make you weak- it makes you attentive, loving, and strong in ways most people don’t see. Learning your child’s triggers, recognizing early signs, knowing when to step away, and choosing peace over pressure are not small things. Those are victories! Moments of wisdom, the quiet successes that show you’re growing right alongside your child.
Anytime you make room for simplicity, anytime you choose calm over chaos, every time you advocate for your child’s needs- you’re doing holy work. Work that matters! Work that counts!
And you don’t have to do it alone!
More encouragement for Moms- https://spectrumspecter.org/from-burnout-to-balance-a-faith-filled-journey/
https://spectrumspecter.org/simply-having-a-slower-summertime/
Let’s Talk About What Helps
When Overstimulation hits, what has helped you get through it- tools, routines, or small grounding moments?
Could you share in the comments below? Your story matters here!